


The Anatomy of a Choice

by AllThoseOtherWorlds



Category: Doctor Who, Doctor Who (2005)
Genre: But it's not a part of the plot, Canon Compliant, Episode: s08e07 Kill The Moon, Gen, Internal Monologue, Nonbinary Character, The Doctor is nonbinary and I am using they pronouns for them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-08-14
Updated: 2015-08-14
Packaged: 2018-04-14 16:32:10
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 642
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4571649
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AllThoseOtherWorlds/pseuds/AllThoseOtherWorlds
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Doctor does not take pleasure in abandoning Clara to her own choices, but neither do they regret it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	The Anatomy of a Choice

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I do not own Doctor Who. I do not make money from this.
> 
> I wrote this after/while rewatching the episode, because I wanted to explore the Doctor's choice to let Clara - and humanity - make the decision. I find that I agree with the Doctor in this episode, and I wanted to take a shot at articulating why. I decided to do this by writing some introspection/inner monologue for the Doctor during these scenes.
> 
> There is a chance I will add another chapter after rewatching "In the Forest of the Night", but I'm not promising anything.

“I can’t make this decision for you,” they say, watching Clara’s mind shift into anger and frustration.

“Yeah, well I can’t make it,” she says. She believes it too, they can tell. She wants them to make this decision for her instead, to save the Earth as though this is some invasion - as though this is the Daleks or the Sontarans or the Racnoss. As though this is something that is outside of Humanity’s purview - a menace seeking to destroy them, something from which the Doctor could protect them.

But how could they protect humanity from it’s own right to choose?

They argued with Clara for a few more minutes, trying to convince her that this is what has to happen, what has to be done. It doesn’t really work, but they didn’t really expect it to. That’s one of the things they’ve always admired about Clara - she knows what she believes, and she isn’t afraid to disagree with them.

Finally, they leave, setting the TARDIS to orbit earth and watching the moon from afar.

They do not regret making their decision, for all that they know Clara might hate them for it. Some choices are too important not to make on your own. They don’t blame Clara for hating them for this, if in fact she does. After all, she doesn’t - can’t - see things the way they do. She is not a Time Lord, and they know all too well what happens to humans who try to see things as a Time Lord can.  
  
They would never wish that on her.

She can’t see the many ever-changing tendrils of time, the many moments forming and unforming and becoming and choosing. She can’t see the way this moment stands out, a fork in the road that humanity takes. She can’t see how different that is from the invasions, which were choices between balance and chaos rather than right and wrong. Preventing an alien empire from conquering Earth is about maintaining balance - keeping Earth from being destroyed before it has the chance to choose things for itself.

But this - this is one of those choices, and the Doctor will not take it away from them. They are a Time Lord, and although they have many qualms with the way their people have dealt with noninterference, this is not one of them. They have always tried their best to let humanity choose its own path, after all.

When the Silurian-Human treaty was underway, they had made it clear that their role was not as humanity’s representative. They may be attached to Earth, and they may care about humanity, but ultimately they do not live here. What would they be if they made these decisions for another species? Is it their place to decide what is best for someone else? (They know, they know because they have made mistakes before and they are trying very hard to not do so again). They have their own definite opinions, of course (and oh, how they hope that humanity chooses to let the Moon live) but they don’t want to stunt humanity’s growth by forcing their own views upon it.

So they wait. And they watch. And when it is all over and the Moon hatches and lays another egg and the world spins on, they know that they did the right thing.

And although they are sad that this has turned out to be the last straw for Clara, they are not surprised either. They know that these decisions can take a toll - after all, they spent centuries regretting a decision they made for their own people before they finally got the chance to set things right. It is not a happy task, and they do understand Clara’s anger.

That doesn’t change the sadness that she is leaving, or the relief when she finally decides to stay.


End file.
